i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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