Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
