I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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