I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I will be naked everywhere
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
