i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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