hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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