Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I have fence marks all over my body
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
