wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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