He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
