god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
