You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
