In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
