this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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