So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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