sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
