Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
