happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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