you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
