i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
