you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
