This girl is more easily done than said...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
