problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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