Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i think i have two assholes
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize