Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
