he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize