Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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