the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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