I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
