i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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