The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
