Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize