So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
