Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
