aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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