well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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