I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
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