apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You've changed since you got that strap on
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
