I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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