that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
