we made out on top of his cat.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
