i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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