I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
