took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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