K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
