is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
