At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
