yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
