Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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