She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
