My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we're making bets on your personal life
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
