Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
