why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
