I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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