So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the condom got lost in my hair
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
