True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
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