Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
