You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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