Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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