So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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