why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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