new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize