don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
false alarm. still invincible.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
